Dan

The Ultimate Irony

April 1, 2015 By Dan Leave a Comment

I still remember how I felt that day.

April 1, 1990.

WrestleMania VI.

Hulk Hogan versus The Ultimate Warrior.

I remember it like it was yesterday, sitting in the home of my friend who still to this day is a wrestling fan ever since he first introduced me to WWF nearly 30 years ago.

I remember the $30 that I had saved up, happily paying for the pay-per-view when my friend was unable to cover the cost of ordering the event.

I was NOT going to miss this moment, no chance at all.

I remember beause for me it was a moment that would stand the test of time. For many, many years it would be a moment that just brought me pure joy as “my guy” did the unthinkable. Someone I believed in, someone that made me smile.

“My guy”.

24 years later he would teach me a greater lesson, one that will last longer than the happiness that original moment brought 2 1/2 decades ago.

The 15th year of my life was one of “those” years that stands out, never to be forgotten for many reasons. A year filled with tough challenges and important lessons to be learned. When those challenging moments came about, something that helped me out was what happened in Toronto, Ontario that day revolving around a man I would never meet (but did receive an email response from in 1998).

“My guy”.

Think back to a memory from your own childhood that makes you happy.

I don’t care what that moment is, we each have our own interests, our own path, but the feeling is the same regarless of what race, gender, or age you are.

Childhood heroes are so important and while the man who would legally change his name to Warrior wasn’t my hero, he was a person that taught me it was okay to be your own person, to be different. The man taught me how it feels when someone you believe in exceeds and how you don’t have to follow the crowd in life.

At a moment when I needed something positive to grasp onto, I had a moment and it was special.

Pat Patteron (wrestler who has worked for WWE for many decades) would later report that after Warrior walked out of Toronto with arguably one of the biggest wins in professional wrestling history versus a man that never lost fair and square, he was found in the locker room sobbing. Repeating over and over again “thank you” for the trust that Vince McMahon and his company had in him. I am guessing that Warrior felt he had had one of those highlight moments of his life at the ripe old age of 29 years old.

He would later learn that that highlight moment would simply be a MOMENT in his life.

The TRUE meaning of this life would come later.

I didn’t know Warrior the individual any more than what I have read online so I cannot pretend to get inside his head, but his own writings, his own videos, and his own court depositions paint the picture of a very angry, jaded man.

I could go into minutia regarding his controversial political appearance in 2005 or his own writings after Heath Ledger died in 2008 but this would be pointless. Those 2 examples and laborious blog posts over the years seem to be the work of an individual that felt the need to “get back” at the world through the use of a grenade when a hug would have worked so much better.

Anger eats you alive.

Like a cancer, anger grows and grows and it will spread and become malignant, consuming someone if they are not careful.

Something changed in Warrior after 2008 though. Something good.

Gone were the nonsensical rants, gone were the vitriol-laced speeches, gone were the stories that would pop up on wrestling news sites about the latest crazy thing the man with the birth name of James Hellwig had said or done.

When I watched the heartfelt video Warrior made after his friend Randy Savage died at 58 years old in 2011, I remember emailing friends at how wonderful this was, so heartfelt, so normal.

In a world of professional wrestling where there is a minefield of talent who have died too young, Randy Savage (my other favorite wrestler when I was a kid) was just another name in the ocean of fallen souls. He wasn’t in his 30s or 40s, but 58 is still far too young to breath your last breath.

I could have never guessed who would join him 3 years later… and 4 years younger.

When it was announced that Warrior had made peace with WWE in the winter of 2014 I was shocked. Of all the bitter divorces, this was one that I thought had little chance of ever being mended.

But I think I know why/how this reconciliation came about.

“…the most awesome thing I will ever do is be your father” — Warrior, WWE 2014 HOF Induction Speech

For many people the birth of their children is the happiest moment of their life.

For me, every day I get to BE my daughter’s father is the happiest moment of my life.

I don’t know the man but I think that Warrior came to peace with the individuals who had made him so mad and felt so wronged by (whether he was right or wrong really doesn’t matter) because his love for his 2 daughters outweighed anything that had happened in the past. As his girls grew older he realized he had to lead by example and let the anger go.

Warrior decided that teaching forgiveness and love were much more important to the people he loved most of all. He realized that he could have a great future and no longer had to stowaway on a train car of infuriation.

The hand of fate can be very cruel.

Nearly a year ago and only 3 days after “my guy” made peace with World Wrestling Entertainment and was inducted in their Hall of Fame, Warrior dropped dead of a heart attack while walking outside with his wife.

From the highest high to the lowest low in a matter of hours, this was perhaps not so much a surprise. The Ultimate Warrior was a man who lived life hard and fast. On the “volume control” of life which has a range of 0 to 10, his was permanently set to 11.

Warrior was there for me when I needed something to make me happy during a time of my life when there were few things to smile about. He would teach me another lesson about love, and learning to let go and not hold onto anger when I was much older with a daughter of my own.

Warrior’s credo for the longest time is a fitting statement no matter how old one is…

Always Believe.

The Greatest American

January 19, 2015 By Dan 1 Comment

The word hero is thrown around far too often and easily in the media. The mere fact that someone is well known or they do something that is deemed heroic seems to predispose them to this label which should be used in rare occasions when it really applies.

What makes someone a hero?

Merriam-Webster gives 2 definitions of hero as “a person who is admired for great or brave acts or fine qualities” and “a person who is greatly admired”.

Great or brave acts.

I suppose that could fit many individuals. The classic image of the fireman saving a kitten from the tree certainly is admirable and many people would call this person a hero, but I choose to limit my usage for extreme cases, far from the norm.

I never had any black friends growing up. If I offend anyone by using this term and not African-American I mean no disrespect, I simply don’t know what the preferred term is. If anyone called me white (I would say more an off-peach color) I wouldn’t be offended, so I hope using the word “black” is okay.

I didn’t have any black friends growing up not because I avoided those friendships, I simply didn’t have many black kids at the schools (public through high school, and then a private college) in Massachusetts. There were many times in my life where my only friend had 4 legs, a tail, and fur. I would have welcomed any friend and certainly couldn’t be choosy on the basis of color.

For much of my life I didn’t even know how to act around black people as I felt guilty simply for being a white man. I saw white men as the very definition of the majority of people that brought so much pain and suffering to so many (blacks, Native Americans, etc.) for something they had no control over whatsoever, the color of their skin.

My first memory of a black person that stands out in my mainly white world was when my parents got divorced around the age of 9 years old I went to a black therapist and what stood out more than anything else wasn’t the color of his skin but that he was nice and kind to me.

Nice.

Kind.

For all my mother’s faults (and there were many), the one thing she did right is that racism and bigotry was never taught to me. I had friends of various walks of life and I am better for it.

I will always be better for diversity in my life.

The older I get, the less tolerance I have for bigotry in any form. There are good and bad people of every race, every gender, every orientation… we are simply people.

Judging people for things out of their control I see as bullying, abuse, and WRONG.

“Oh Great Spirit, keep me from ever judging a man until I have walked a mile in his moccasins” — Native American (Sioux) prayer

Given this history of abuse, history of wrongdoing, history of horrific acts, the natural tendency for many blacks it could easily be assumed would be to feel anger, the need to fight back as a form of defense. In that state of negativity it can also be understood why many would choose to turn to violence as a means of “righting the wrong”.

One man didn’t see things that way.

One man (and the countless people who believed in his cause then and still do today) believed that the history of “eye for an eye” and violence as the solution simply does not work.

“Darkness cannot drive out darkness: only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate: only love can do that.” — Martin Luther King, Jr., A Testament of Hope: The Essential Writings and Speeches

I don’t have the gift of speech like Martin Luther King, Jr.
That doesn’t mean I can’t communicate effectively in other ways.

I don’t share the same religious beliefs of Martin Luther King, Jr.
That doesn’t mean I can’t respect and learn from the man.

I don’t share the skin color of Martin Luther King, Jr.
That doesn’t make me any better or worse than him.

I don’t write much about politics and/or religion because these are polarizing topics. I got inspired to write this piece in honor of Dr. King when years ago I overheard someone in my inner circle say that “Martin Luther King, Jr. Day isn’t a real holiday.” Following through in a manner that I feel Dr. King would be proud of, I said nothing, storing this quote away in my brain to be used in the future. In some ways I dreaded the day that I finally decided to write this post, for I felt no matter how many revisions I would make, it would never, COULD never do the man and what he stood for justice. I could never honor him adequately no matter how many words I wrote, or the words I chose to use.

47 years after he was murdered, I instead offer the argument that not only is Martin Luther King, Jr. Day a “real” holiday, of the 10 United States Federal Holidays of note, one stands above all. Martin Luther King, Jr. Day is the MOST important American holiday there is.

“People need dramatic examples to shake them out of apathy” — Batman Begins

There have been many important figures in American history, no doubt countless names who we have never heard of and never will hear of. Whether it’s good or bad (more a reality), marketing is required to spread knowledge and get people to act. Even if we don’t want there to be figureheads, we many times NEED them for the greater good.

George Washington was no doubt an important figure in American history, but he was a slave owner himself. As one of the founding fathers of the United States his legacy cannot be ignored, but is he the greatest?

Abraham Lincoln signed the Emancipation Proclamation and was a major factor in ending the American Civil War. Most polls list him as the greatest American President and like Dr. King, was murdered for his beliefs and actions. The greatest American? Close, but he was a white man, growing up in a white man’s world.

Lincoln fought and died for the abolishment of slavery.

Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. fought for equal rights as a whole.

Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. fought for equal rights in the only way that WORKS and he DIED for those beliefs, instantly becoming an eternal martyr for civil rights, spoken with the same type of reverence as Mahatma Gandhi by countless millions since that day nearly 50 years ago.

I mention this man all the time to my 10 year old daughter because he is the very definition of role model and HERO. I draw quotes from him as often as possible and I look to his wisdom and actions to help guide my own life.

Was Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. a perfect man? The simple fact is that no one is perfect, not even the ones we hold with the utmost respect. Dr. King had flaws like anyone else and as a human, he made mistakes, just like everyone else does. His flaws do not define the man, and it is his flaws that better enable the average Jane and Joe to relate to him.

The memorial statue of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. (which took far too long to come to fruition) was created not by a black American, not a white American, but by a Chinese sculptor. I find it an ironic, proper symbol of universal peace that no doubt Dr. King would be proud of.

“Early morning, April 4
Shot rings out in the Memphis sky
Free at last, they took your life
They could not take your pride”

Pride (In the Name of Love) from U2 – The Unforgettable Fire, 1984

Dating in the 21st Century

November 17, 2014 By Dan 1 Comment

How does one find “it”?

How does one know when to continue in a relationship and when to abandon ship?

Why do we pick ourselves up time and time again when we have been hurt, bruised, defeated so many times before?

Before my separation/divorce, my history of relationships was minimal to say the least. As for my history of dating, the answer was the same… minimal. I had one relationship in college and it was my first understanding of what it was like to be with someone of the opposite sex [if you are gay or lesbian modify accordingly]. My first understanding of the physical joys that can be experienced, and my first knowledge of what it was like to share one’s life with another individual. I look back to that first relationship and how much I didn’t know at the time but the basic feeling that one’s life is made better when you have someone else to share that journey… well that feeling is no different today from that initial feeling long ago.

When my long term relationship with my ex ended a decade after the relationship with my first girlfriend was over, I entered the dating world without much of a clue what to do or how to proceed. At the time I no doubt thought I had an idea, but I was too scarred at the time and simply didn’t have the wisdom of what to focus on or the confidence to say NO to what I couldn’t accept in a future relationship. My laser focus was simply on the things that were missing or lacking in the long relationship that had just ended.

I was on an island and didn’t know which way to start swimming, or if I should even try at all.

I decided that staying on that island, while safe, wasn’t the right course of action. In order to learn how to deal with the ebb and flow of the ocean, I had to take the initial plunge and just start swimming. Like with anything else that requires practice, the initial process was challenging, frustrating, and difficult. However, as I met more people and built confidence, I started keeping a virtual collection of breadcrumbs in my head. What I was looking for, what worked with others and what didn’t, and most importantly, a comfort level in myself and who I was.

The more people I met, the wiser I became, and more picky I got. Something I would have ignored before or saw as a lesser priority I identified I couldn’t ignore such and such and that it was okay to say NO, even with the fear of loneliness and rejection ever-present.

With dating we need to be like closers in baseball. A closer is a special pitcher that comes up at the end of the game when a team has a lead but not a very big one. The role of the closer is to throw a minimal amount of pitches and hold on to the win for the leading team. Usually this works but like with anything else in life, occasionally even the best closer is going to give up a home run with 2 outs in the bottom of the ninth and walk away on the losing side. When a relationship ends or a series of first dates leads to nothing, we have a choice like the baseball player to reminisce and reflect on what “could have been/done differently” or we can dust ourselves off and get prepared for the next game. WE make the choice to clear our minds and reset ourselves, ready to do it all again the next time we are at the plate, WE make the choice to move on (or not).

“To become masters of love, we have to practice love. The art of relationship is also a whole mastery, and the only way to reach mastery is with practice.” — Miquel Ruiz, The Mastery of Love: A Practical Guide to the Art of Relationship: A Toltec Wisdom Book

As my daughter enters her tween years and with her formidable teenage years in the very near future, I can’t help but think that she is about to embark on a new adventure in life as relates to hormones and the world of dating. The best advice that I could give her is simply to get out there and meet as many people as possible. The only way you can learn what you want and need is by doing. Jumping into relationships with the first person you are attracted to, the first person you kiss, the first person you are intimate with rarely leads to long term success. People can grow into a relationship but it’s better if one holds out for the RIGHT relationship which is an incredible test of patience and discipline.

With so many failed relationships that we hear about all the time, I feel the question has to be asked: is it even worth it?

When I reflect on the lives of monks, nuns, priests, etc. who have given up a “normal” relationship to lead a life of celibacy and doing the work of their chosen faith, I can’t help but think of so many individuals that glow with an inner energy that I don’t see on a regular basis from people that live a life focused on physical desires and emotional connections with a significant other.

Are the ones who have given up a “regular” path less happy, or MORE?

The bottom line is that finding a real connection is HARD. We are programmed biologically to want it for reproductive reasons and when we get a taste of an emotional and physical connection with someone else it’s an addiction that is up there with the worst vices you can imagine. So many of us feel that having “someone” is better than nothing and so we settle and make the best of the situation we are in.

I don’t know if it’s worth it but I do know how it feels when you connect on an emotional and physical side together and even in the short term it’s a +++ and makes you feel more ALIVE.

When my journey of life comes to an end, I don’t need to have been in a relationship for any set amount of time, I wouldn’t see an arbitrary number as a measure of “success”. I do hope that I am able to experience a relationship that feels “right” and someone that truly “gets” me, even if it takes decades and lasts for a passing moment.

Life is a journey that we start and begin on our own but it’s the people and company we share it with that makes the adventure worthwhile.

Best Man Speech

October 11, 2014 By Dan 1 Comment

I was given the great honor of presenting the following speech (minus a few editing changes to hide the identities of said individuals) back in 2009 for one of my friends from college. It’s an opportunity that I never thought I would get in my life and I wanted to do the best job that I could. After weeks of trying to figure out what I wanted to say, I finally came up with the following speech. Half a decade later there is very little I would change and my words resonate to me today just as much as they did back then.

To the bride and groom, I wish you a happy anniversary now and forever.

Best Man Speech originally presented 10/11/2009

Yes I need something to read off of. I am a writer, not public speaker so this helps calm the nerves of being up here.

I’ve known [Groom] for 12 years; I can’t just call him [Groom], so bear with me, either [Groom] or [Groom] Duck as my daughter affectionately named him when she was around 2 years old.

I am an ironic person to be giving this speech given my own personal circumstances but these circumstances make me a perfect candidate for what I will be saying today as I have had a lot of time to think and reflect. As many of you know, I am a stats freak (I got my love of numbers from my father, love of cards from my grandfather) so I decided that would be the focus of my speech. For my speech I have 10 pieces of advice for the newlyweds on 3 topics: relationships, parenting, life. Bear with me because this is pretty long and it’s all serious. It’s not a roast, there’s no yucks, no humor, no jokes as the only type of humor I can do (and none too well) is sarcasm which usually comes off as obnoxious. Drama and writing is what I do better than most, so I went the serious route for my speech.

RELATIONSHIPS

NUMBER 1. Respect & trust are the essential foundation of any successful relationship, not just romantic. A house is only as strong as its foundation and because [Groom] & [Bride] have a strong foundation, their house will be sturdy and able to withstand time.

2. You can’t change people; people can only change THEMSELVES. Compromise in small areas is fine and expected, but you can’t (and shouldn’t) lose the person that YOU are. Whether it’s [Groom] with golfing, bowling, games with me or [Bride] with country music or going out with the girls, the person that you are today is the person the other fell in love with. DON’T lose who YOU are. Make sure that you don’t leave your past friends or life behind now that you are married. You CAN love your partner while keeping YOU intact. While you should love yourself, you didn’t fall in love WITH yourself… those unique qualities are what make the person you love special.

HOWEVER…

Relationships take WORK!! NUMBER 3. This is something I never really understood. Things like date nights are something I didn’t realize the importance of but now I understand. Planned events and nights out aren’t cheesy or cliché things to do. When LIFE becomes overpowering, having SET times planned out where you make time for each other helps keep the glue of the relationship intact. Never stop WORKING at your relationship… the key word is WORK WORK WORK WORK

4. Loyalty is of the utmost importance. ALWAYS be able to count on each other, always be loyal, always be the rock that you can both turn to and count on no matter what. In poker ([Groom] you knew I had to throw a poker analogy in there) there is something called variance which is just a way of saying that there will be ups and downs in the game over time. In life, variance exists just as much. Even when times are so good you never think about the bad, the bad will come. THIS is the time when you find out who are your real friends, who really loves you, who REALLY cares. The sad reality is that you will find that list of people who really care is very short. It’s easy to be there when times are good, very hard when times are bad. Be there for your partner at these times MORE THAN ANY OTHER. You need to be able to depend on each other at THESE times so when everything turns to crap, you can always count on one another.

5. Communication is essential. Don’t let issues fester. Talk things through and come to a conclusion quickly before issues get out of control. Let the words “I’m sorry”, “I was wrong”, and “you were right” be something you aren’t afraid to say.

6. You can NEVER say I love you enough. You can never give enough hugs; you can never give enough affection to remind the other person that they are important to YOU. Make these actions a focal point of reminding the ones you love that you still feel the same way.

6 pieces of advice down, 4 to go, the next topic being…

PARENTING

I can summarize parenting into 1 single list item. I believe that kids need 3 things more than anything else in life: TIME… AFFECTION… POSITIVE REINFORCEMENT (in that order).

Everything else is fluff in the long run (and I do mean everything). Let your children know you are proud of them and SPEND time with them. It doesn’t matter what you do as long as you are spending time. Even a walk around the block can be quality time.

It’s really that simple.

LIFE

The best piece of advice I ever got in my life was: PICK. YOUR. BATTLES.

Choose your words carefully and make sure there is a good reason for every action that you take and do. If a particular action or comeback doesn’t feel like it’s worth doing, don’t bother. Save your ‘ammunition’ for another day. PICK. YOUR. BATTLES.

9. Anyone know who Jim Valvano was?

He was the head coach of the North Carolina State 1983 NCAA men’s basketball championship team. In 1993 he was dying of cancer and he gave an emotional speech at the first annual ESPN ESPY awards. Only months after he gave this speech he passed away but I would like to read a short excerpt from that speech:

“I’m a very emotional, passionate man. I can’t help it. We hug, we kiss, we love. And when people say to me how do you get through life or each day, it’s the same thing. To me, there are three things we all should do every day. We should do this every day of our lives. Number one is laugh. You should laugh every day. Number two is think. You should spend some time in thought. And number three is, you should have your emotions moved to tears, could be happiness or joy. But think about it. If you laugh, you think, and you cry, that’s a full day. That’s a heck of a day. You do that seven days a week; you’re going to have something special.”

Is that good advice or what? Laugh. Think. Cry. Add love in there and isn’t that what life is essentially all about?

Finally NUMBER 10. Follow your gut in life, it’s rarely wrong and even when logic says to do something else, your gut should take precedence. LISTEN to your gut…

As a lifelong card player there is only way I could end my speech, and it’s 2 simple words for [Groom] & [Bride], 2 of the best words ever put together…

GOOD.
LUCK.

GIVE IT UP FOR [Groom] & [Bride]!!!

Robin Williams (1951 – 2014)

August 14, 2014 By Dan 3 Comments

“You HAVE to see this movie.”

At 14 years old, I still remember my father’s words as he recommended that I see Dead Poet’s Society, a movie that he watched on a plane ride home from travelling for work.

I still remember it because I can’t recall him recommending another movie since.

With Robin Williams’ suicide this week, another one of my childhood celebrity icons fades away… another far too soon.

At my Dad’s recommendation I did indeed watch Dead Poet’s Society fairly soon afterwards. His recommendation was so strong, so passionate, how could I say no? Curiosity alone took me to the video store to rent the movie, a movie that I copied on VHS and watched time and time again over the years.

Robin Williams seems to have been known as a comic first and foremost, but for me he will always be known as a dramatic actor. His work in movies such as Dead Poet’s, Insomnia, etc. speak to me more that behind those eyes lies a dramatic soul that has more depth than most others I ever experience on the big screen.

Analogous to the quality over quantity selection of whom I consider the greatest director of all time, Stanley Kubrick, I would have forever been happy and fulfilled to have his performance in the 1989 film by Peter Weir as the magnum opus of his career.

But there was to be one better.

There was to be one that would touch me on a far more personal level.

When I was participating in my last college RA (Resident Assistant) training in 1997, we had a field trip to go see a movie in Boston and of the selections at the time I vaguely remember that my first choice was full or not available, so I tagged along with another group of RAs, begrudgingly to go see a movie I had never heard of and knew absolutely nothing about. I was at a point in my life where I was still trying to be accepted any way that I could, and one of the nice guys in the group told me he heard the movie was good. With this recommendation in hand, I tagged along with the other RAs for the viewing.

Life works in weird ways.

When I exited my viewing of Good Will Hunting, I don’t know if I had tears in my eyes but if I didn’t it would shock me. To this day 17 years later, the movie remains on my Top 10 of favorite movies of all time and I really don’t see how it will ever be replaced by another.

The fact that it was set in Boston, the fact that the Patriots (at that time still a semi-joke of an organization) were even mentioned, written by 2 unknown kids (Matt Damon & Ben Affleck) at the time that beat the odds, great acting, an amazing score by Danny Elfman… this alone would have been enough to make it an incredible film.

On top of that, it had Robin Williams in the greatest performance of his life.

This was the absolute icing on the cake for me. One of my favorite dramatic actors of all time in a movie that had the perfect setting, perfect sound, and his character giving the perfect message.

“It’s not your fault.” — Sean Maguire, Good Will Hunting (1997)

Robin Williams always struck me as the kind of man that just seemed like he really had empathy for other human beings. There was a certain softness and gentleness to his performances that didn’t feel like acting to me, it felt real. It happily doesn’t surprise me that most of the news reports have stated he was full of care for all people, regardless of what caste of society you were part of (go look up his volunteer work with the armed services and homeless). The only negative thing I have read thus far was a FOX News anchor calling him a “coward” for leaving his adult children fatherless and regarding that comment I will just say that I think many of us can relate to being in a great amount of emotional pain at one time or another in our lives. I certainly know I can.

When one is in pain, the natural course of action is to do something to alleviate the symptoms, and Robin Williams no doubt had been alleviating for quite some time. My fellow zipper brother (he had open heart surgery in 2009) had been a long time alcoholic and abuser of cocaine and mental health experts have told me that he was likely self-medicating throughout most of his life.

The man that could get in front of thousands of people and make them laugh or cry found it hardest to deal with the silence of being with a select few… or even worse, being by himself.

I never knew Robin Williams personally and I usually hate when celebrities are held in high esteem just because they are identified easily by the masses, but in the case where it involves someone who touched you as a child/young adult and was a genuinely GOOD person I consider him an outlier case that I felt compelled to write about.

How I wish he was still here with us today.

When someone you care about is in pain, YOU have to make the effort to reach out and try to be there for them. People that are depressed will many (most?) times seek refuge by themselves and crawl into a deep, dark hole to try and hide from the pain they are in, not by choice but as a defensive mechanism. While you can’t change people or force someone to be happy or less depressed, the actions that one takes to remind someone that they are important can be life-changing in many cases. We as humans have an intrinsic need to have a value in society and when we feel that we are no longer valuable, we have trouble seeing our place in the world.

Robin Williams was adored and loved the world over and recent tweets and posts from his family and close friends clearly indicate he was more importantly loved by those in his inner circle and that still wasn’t enough.

I prefer to remember Mr. Williams as the person that touched my heart and made ME feel valuable.

If I could speak to him I would do the same thing that his character did for Matt Damon by telling him “It’s not your fault” and giving him a hug. I don’t know if it would have made a difference (probably not as he had been carrying this pain for a long time), but it couldn’t have hurt to try.

Carpe diem.